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| So I went into the stall in the restroom at work and saw sitting beside the toilet and the plunger a can of Pepsi - in it's new, dark, redesigned bottle. This strikes me as odd, because under no circumstances can I imagine drinking any liquids, let alone soda while utilizing the facilities. Of course it's possible that whoever was drinking the Pepsi was just chillin' and taking a break from their grueling labor.
However, as is usually the case, I didn't stop with just drinking. What about EATING on the toilet, like a full Thanksgiving-style turkey meal? I don't know that this is possible to do. But if anyone's ever eaten on the toilet, turkeys or otherwise, please let me know. I think that'd be awesome. | | |
| Am I the only one who has noticed this, or does anyone else find it at all odd that on the eve of 2009, a major world development involves pirates.
Seriously, PIRATES?? Until recently I had – wrongly – assumed that the only pirates still around were Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom. Who would have thought that piracy would make resurgence in 2008?
Another interesting thing involving these pirates is that we (and when I say “we” I mean the civilized world) can’t catch them. Such fairly competent nations such as Russia , United States , China , and Germany (I’m sure there are more, but I’m too lazy to look it up) are all out with their warships trying to hunt these guys down, who are not in warships, but in little speedboats dinghies. This makes me slightly uncomfortable. In the last 9 years, we have been unable to find Osama bin Laden, couldn’t get people out of New Orleans after Katrina, and now we can’t find pirates. In the age of GPS and Google Earth and cloning I like to believe that the world is a little more proficient.
Now if you don’t mind, I am going to apply for the Cavalry. | | |
| I will update my blog soon. Kara is leaving for a week on Sunday - which means that I will have more time than I care to think about to write blogs. A few a day. Make up for lost time.
Until then... | | |
| Perhaps no one else has enough money to pay for commercials, (when's the last time you saw a car commercial other than those Mercedes and Audi ones where a husband buys his wife a luxury automobile with a gigantic red bow on it?) or it could be that the home security head honchos are playing on everybody's fears. Imagine a typical American watching TV in the evening, thinking to himself (or herself, depending on whether you're imagining a male or female): "Well, I'm probably going to be laid-off and will have to eat my leather shoes for sustenance..." and on the TV a Brinks or ADT - take your pick - commercial begins to air and... "and I'm going to have to walk to the...Oh crap. Now there's probably a creepy sweat-suited burglar outside of my window with a crowbar." So what scarce money this American has left (s)he installs a home security system so it can randomly beep and possibly go off when anyone forgets the code.
So... yeah. Think about that. You're running out of money. The world's economy is hitting the fan... and there's someone watching you through your window as you slumber.
Sleep tight.
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| Before I begin, let me say that I wish to God on High that this was my story, but it is not. It's my brother's story, but since he's generally pretty darn boring and doesn't blog, and if he did it wouldn't be about anything cool such as this, I feel that it is my duty to retell his story.
My brother - I'll call him Dick for anonymity purposes (he's a lawyer, and I'd hate to be on the business end of a lawsuit) - took my beloved 3 year old nephew, Luke, to one of his little daycare mate's birthday party at Chucky Cheeses. As men, small and large, can attest, at some point during a meal at a fine establishment such as Chucky Cheeses, a trip to the facilities will be in order. Accordingly, off Dick and Luke go to the restroom. After business had been completed, they were washing their hands when in walked a 10-12 year old girl. Pretty weird - one never likes to see the wrong sex in a bathroom. I'm uncomfortable when some well-meaning dad brings his five year old into the men's room. 10-12 is definitely a little too old. Anyhow, if all said girl did was walk in and go into a stall, that'd be okay. But no, she proceeds to drop trou, turn around, exposing her naked self to my brother and Luke and SIT IN THE URINAL TO PEE.
I take it that Dick approached this girl and told her that she was in the wrong bathroom and she needed to leave, but the girl said nothing and wouldn't even look at him. Luke made innocent comments like, "Daddy, why is that girl sitting on that?" So, Dick and Luke shook the dust from their feet and stole out of the bathroom to let some other unfortunate soul to deal with the situation.
The females out there reading this may or may not know how hideously horrid urinals are. They get peed on all day. They have gum and cigarettes in them. They have crazy hairs and spit and those nasty piss biscuits floating around in the urine. Basically, I'd rather sit on hot coals than get my bare butt anywhere NEAR one of those things.
Has anyone else had crazy bathroom experiences?
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